But her mommy tried to tell her,
That she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
Of why he wasn’t there today.

But still her mother worried,
For her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
She tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school,
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees,
A dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in back,
For everyone to meet
Children squirming impatiently,
Anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called,
Each student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
As seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
For a man who wasn’t there.
“Where’s her daddy at?”
She heard a boy call out.
“She probably doesn’t have one”
Another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
She heard a daddy say,
“Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day.”
The words did not offend her,
As she smiled up at her mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
Who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
Came words incredibly unique.
“My daddy couldn’t be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,

Since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
And how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories
He taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him,
I’m not standing here alone.
Cause my daddy’s always with me
Even though we are apart.
I know because he told me,
He’ll forever be in my heart.”

With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
Her mother stood in tears.

Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
Of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
Staring straight into the crowd.

She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.
“I love my daddy very much,
He’s my shining star.
And if he could he’d be here,
But heaven’s just too far.

You see he was a fireman
And died just this past year.
When airplanes hit the towers
And taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,
It’s like he never went away.”
And then she closes her eyes,
And saw him there that day.
And to her mother’s amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they say before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
They saw him at her side.
“I know you’re with me Daddy.”
To the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
Of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it,
For each of their eyes had been closed.

But there on the desk beside her,
Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
By the love of her shining bright star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far

- From the poem Daddy’s Day, by Cheryl Costello-Forshey

People involved in trades, such as carpenters, plumbers and electricians may truly be cut out for jobs that are free from traditional, rigid structure and independent in nature.  The survey found that people in such trades were most likely to have traits suggestive of AD/HD.  On the other hand, office, bank and retail clerks, with more structure and more public contact, included the fewest reporting symptoms of AD/HD.

Construction workers and healthcare professionals followed closely behind elected officials as most likely to exhibit AD/HD symptoms with 18 percent and 19 percent, respectively, citing symptoms consistent with AD/HD.  Lawyers, law enforcement personnel and the media are among the least likely to have symptoms of AD/HD.  Business executives, athletes, clergy, scientists and teachers fall in the middle.

Although 21 percent of elected officials surveyed often have traits that make them candidates for AD/HD, only 15 percent of the public represented in the 14 categories report similar symptoms.  Of the respondents with high probability of AD/HD, 50 percent reside in “blue” states and 50 percent in “red” states (based on 2004 U.S. Presidential Election).  Thirty-three percent said they are Democrats, 26 percent said they are Republicans and 32 percent identified themselves as Independents.

The survey also confirms the significant under-diagnosis of adult AD/HD demonstrated by earlier studies.  Only 12 percent of respondents who reported symptoms frequently associated with adult AD/HD had been diagnosed with the disorder.  This is in contrast to depression, which was once unrecognized but now is readily diagnosed and treated.

Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in adults is often characterized by distractibility, procrastination, disorganization and lateness, incomplete projects and losing things and can be associated with personal and professional relationship problems and sometimes substance abuse.  It can often impair an individual’s quality of life.

Recent studies indicate that between 30 and 70 percent of children with AD/HD still continue to exhibit AD/HD symptoms as adults.  The vast majority of these people is undiagnosed, and may be unaware that their problems may have a neurobiological cause and can be treated. 

“Undiagnosed and untreated AD/HD in adults can definitely impede professional success,” said David Giwerc.  “On the flip side, adults with AD/HD also have unique strengths that can also manifest as a result of understanding their AD/HD.  They are often creative, spontaneous, inventive, humorous, risk-taking problem-solvers and, when their AD/HD is being treated properly and they are educated about their own AD/HD they can do very well in the workplace.”  Giwerc, who has AD/HD, is Immediate Past President of the ADDA, a Master Certified ADD Coach and Founder/President of The ADD Coach Academy. 

“The first steps in helping people successfully manage their AD/HD challenges are making them aware that AD/HD is not just a childhood disorder, helping them recognize the specific symptoms and situations that are impairing their ability to move forward in important areas of their lives, then encouraging them to seek health care professionals who specialize in the diagnosis and treatment of adult AD/HD.  This disorder can be effectively treated and managed,” said Giwerc. 

Other survey highlights:

 Members of the media were least likely to have difficulty getting things in order, while business executives, athletes and construction workers were the most likely.
 When asked if they often avoid or delay getting started on tasks that require a lot of thought, healthcare professionals (16 percent) and entertainers (14 percent) top the list.  Only 4 percent of lawyers and 4 percent of teachers acknowledged the same tendencies.  Lawyers were also the highest paid respondents.  Nearly one out of ten media professionals reported avoiding or having trouble getting started.
 Members of the media were least likely to jump out of their seats during a meeting, but more likely to not wait their turn.  Athletes are most likely to leave their seats during a meeting, while construction workers and entertainers were the most likely not to wait their turns.  Clergy were on the other end of the spectrum – most apt to wait their turn.
 Of the respondents who showed a high probability for AD/HD, their average annual income is $63,000; 39 percent are college graduates.  Among the respondents who showed a low probability, the average annual income is $79,000, and 56 percent are college graduates.

These results are illustrative and are not necessarily representative of the entire occupational universe.

“ADDA’s current focus is learning more about how AD/HD impacts employees and employers, and helping both groups better recognize and manage AD/HD in the workplace,” said Evelyn Polk Green, MS ED.  “We hope this survey encourages further studies and generates greater awareness of adult AD/HD which can lead to improved diagnosis and treatment,” she added.  Polk Green is an ADDA Vice President, and serves as advisor to several mental healthcare foundations, hospitals, and government agencies.  She will be receiving the ALiVE (Achieving Lifetime Vision and Excellence) award for her advocacy work from Florida’s Beacon College which serves students with AD/HD.  She and both of her sons have AD/HD.

About the “AD/HD in the Workplace” survey

The survey included 1,463 U.S. adults actively involved in 14 different occupational categories and was conducted for ADDA during the first three weeks of September by ICR (International Communications Research).  The 14 professions surveyed included teachers, business persons,  healthcare professionals, lawyers, law enforcement personnel, scientists, media professionals, elected officials, professional and aspiring athletes, clergy and others affiliated with religion-based professions, construction workers, tradespeople, office/bank/retail store clerks and entertainers.  The six-question Adult Self-Report Scale (ASRS) Screener was used in the survey to identify common symptoms associated with adult AD/HD.  The ASRS screener was developed as a subset of the World Health Organization’s 18-question Adult AD/HD Self-Report Scale Symptom Checklist, and is commonly used by medical professionals for initial diagnosis of adult AD/HD. 

Source: Attention Deficit Disorder Association

Office, bank, retail store clerks (n=107) 9%
Media professional (n=103) 10%
Law enforcement (n=100) 10%
Lawyers (n=100) 10%
Teachers (n=113) 11%
Scientists (n=103) 13%
Professional & aspiring athletes (n=100) 15%
Clergy, religious worker (n=100) 15%
Business Execs/Mgrs (n=114) 16%
Construction Workers (n=102) 18%
Healthcare (n=110) 19%
Elected officials (n=101) 21%
Entertainers (n=101) 21%
Tradespeople (n=109) 23%
High Probability (11-24)

**Adult Self Report Scale r was used in
the survey to identify common symptoms
associated with adult AD/HD.

“The standardized and required ways of learning, processing information
and performing may not work for you. But there are unique and individual methods
that will. For those of you with ADHD, your job is to discover the
options that naturally work for you, integrate them into your daily life
and inform everyone else that, from now on, you will dictate what ways
you learn, work and live best — not the other way around!
Understanding your unique brain wiring, and educating others in
your life about what works best for you, can help you facilitate home,
school and workplace environments that honor and serve individuals,
each as unique as you are.”

How does your ADHD unqiue brain wiring show up?

Are you giving your self permission to proceed with indentifying, embracing and
integrating your unique brian wiring into your life, RIGHT NOW?

We would love to hear from you!!!
To let us know your thoughts, please go to: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Permission-to-Proceed/105305202895849#!/pages/Permission-to-Proceed/105305202895849?v=wall

What we have failed to accept is that your performance needs to be a function of identifying “who” you are and what values/ principles define who you have chosen to become. You need to identify the specific character traits/values such as compassion, connection, creativity, collaboration and many more that immediately ignite your inner sparks to create your own inner bon fire. Without the sparks there is no fire.

You are challenged every day to enter your own inner sanctum and discover your own unique inner sparks, the ones that will ignite your own version of what makes you tick.

When you know the source of your inner fire, your passion will automatically take you to a place where “what” you do will be aligned with” who” you are. I call that personal integrity.

You are invited every day of your life to identify “who” you are and then match your actions with your own integrity. When you do, “who” you are will be as natural as breathing. You will also find the sparks to your special, passionate bonfire.

Who you are is not “what” you do or how well you do it. Who you are is “who” you believe yourself to be. Find out who that is, match your actions with that new discovery and watch how HOT it gets!!

Questions:
• Who do you believe you are?
• What are the character traits/values that define who that is?
• What is something you can do to express that trait/value?
• When will you do it?

Here are the lyrics:

It’s Advanced 27,  and we want you to know
You’ve brought us a long way, but there’s more to go
Thanks David & Barbara for leading us here
Jerry and Roger, for laughs and good cheer.

This year of enrichment was more than a class
Openness, honesty, bonding alas
We’re ending today with hope and clear
Vision for us with support from our peers

Thanks for the questions, the concepts, and LEAP
To launch and explore as we tried to dig deep
Action and passion move us ever higher
Finding the plan that fulfills our desire

We’ve got Questversation, we’ve learned to receive
We filter, we witness, we challenge beliefs.
The ICF gave us the ACTP
And I’m still here looking around for my keys.

Dave Giwerc’s alliterations have given me pause
To ponder and process and pinpoint because
My purpose, my passion, possibilities
Permit my proceeding, with or without keys

I’m impulsive and restless, I procrastinate
I’m bad with transitions and I’m usually late.
I talk all the time, but I have a good brain
And you’ve taught me to use it for financial gain!

Magic moments on mountains remind us of our
machine, mind, and mission, the source of the power.
from black and white thinking to rainbows of light
The future that we have before us is bright.

You’ve given us hope and the means to an end
And taught us that we will do well to depend
Upon one another, to get what we need
Together our missions will surely succeed.

Mary Gault, MA, LPC
A New Leaf
ADHD Coaching
megault@gmail.com

We live in a performance-oriented world.  It’s also a world in which, too often, emphasis is placed on identifying a person’s areas of challenge and then focusing on those areas in order to improve performance.  This negative focus can take its toll on the person’s innate strengths, which may be downplayed or overlooked in the quest for “improvement.”

For adults with ADHD, however, the effort involved in focusing our attention on our weaker areas of performance only exacerbates the challenges of ADHD.  If we’re constantly expected to focus on our performance challenges, then we’re simply setting ourselves up for frustration, anxiety, and even immobilization – all of which inevitably lead to poor self-esteem.  Although this preposterous “weakness” philosophy dominates our world, it does not serve adults with ADHD well.

In fact, based on coaching professionals, executives, entrepreneurs, small business owners, filmmakers and parents with ADHD over the past decade, I’ve consistently observed just the opposite:

People with ADHD improve their chances for success, as they define it, by
focusing on their natural talents – the ones that consistently yield excellent performance – and then by developing a plan to make those talents even stronger.

Our brains work by means of electrical stimulation.  Whatever we choose to pay attention to, at any given moment, is one way in which we can either catalyze or immobilize our brains. It is within our power to choose what we focus on in any given moment. I don’t know about you, but starting off my day by having to pay attention to what I don’t do well definitely doesn’t stimulate my brain. Asking me to focus on a project that relates to my areas of weakness does not generate enough interest or stimulation for me, as an adult with ADHD, to sustain my attention and stay on task with that project.

Unfortunately, this is where false perceptions about ADHD can arise.  For example, when I was a child, teachers would wonder, “Why is it that David can do his math assignment so well and so enthusiastically, but when he has to do a simple English reading and writing assignment, he won’t even take the first step toward action?  He finds every reason in the book not to make any attempt; and the more we ask him, the more he resists.  He’s just being lazy and doesn’t want to do it.”

The labeling as “being lazy,” unwilling, spoiled” that accompanies this type of misperceived performance is simply the result of a lack of understanding of the way in which the ADHD brain works.  What those teachers didn’t understand then, and many still don’t understand today, was that I wanted to do the reading assignment. Unfortunately, the harder I tried to make myself do it, the more I shut down and eventually became immobilized. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to do it; it was that I couldn’t make myself do it.

My own personal experience, and that of the hundred’s of clients I’ve coached, over the last ten years, has taught me how difficult it is for someone with ADHD to will him- or herself to focus on a boring task, subject or project or one that is associated with improving an area of weakness.  Today, I know that, when I choose to start my day with a task that incorporates my strengths, in an area of interest, it has historically resulted in a positive outcome for me. It also creates a sense of forward momentum that makes me feel more fulfilled, energized and empowered afterwards. As a result, I take on more assignments, including ones that are less desirable, to me, that I know need to be completed.

In most academic, family and business situations, well-intentioned efforts to improve an ADHD person’s ability in an area of challenge or weakness may instead lead to unsuccessful experiences that create a negative pattern of thinking.  A constant focus on areas of difficulty may actually block the person with ADHD from being able to take any action related to tasks that involve those areas. 

This pervasive philosophy of focusing on individual weakness, as a global phenomenon, was strikingly evident with the results of a 2004 Gallup Poll that measured parents’ focus on best grades vs. worst grades across multiple countries and cultures. 1 The following question was presented to parents: “Your child shows you the following grades-English-A; Social Studies-A; Biology-C; Algebra-F. Which grade deserves the most attention? As you can see below in all countries the majority of parents focused on the child’s F’s. Their weakest performance became the object of their focus.

Gallup Poll measurement of Parent Performance Focus 1

Country     Focused on A’s         Focused on F’s

UK           22%                      52%

Japan         18                       43

China         8                       56

France         7                       87

U.S.          7                       77

Canada       6                       83

We all know it is still important to pay attention to the F’s but wouldn’t it be better to empower our children by starting off the conversation with the A’s they have achieved, before discussing ways to improve the F’s? What is the message we are sending? That paying attention to what you don’t do well is more important than what you already do well.

Unfortunately, this trend of focusing on weakness is carried into the adult workplace. In the landmark national bestseller “Now Discover Your Strengths,” the authors Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton, PhD, present data collected from over 1.7 million employees in 101 companies from 63 countires. 2 from research they conducted to determine what percentage of these employees truly felt that their strengths were in play at work? The response was only 20 percent of employees in these larger organizations felt they utilize their strengths daily. In other words 8 out of 10 employees don’t get to use what they do best.

Why do organizations create environments where employees don’t use their strengths? Buckingham and Clifton also conducted research focused on finding answers to this issue. They made their findings available in another one of their groundbreaking books, “First Break the Rules.” They interviewed eighty thousand managers in hundred’s of organizations around the world. The most important finding was the discovery of a misguided assumption that most organizations are built on and is also a pervasive belief that dominates our society. The assumption is that “Each person’s greatest room for growth is in his or her area of weakness.” 3

This misguided “weakness” philosophy is rampant. It follows us from school into the workplace. It is the same focus that begins every day for most individuals with ADHD. It simply does not work nor will it ever work. Yet it persists everywhere.

I don’t know of anyone that has gotten ahead, or climbed up their defined ladder of success, by attempting to make his or her weaknesses stronger. I only know clients, friends, relatives and colleagues that have grown and moved forward by making their strengths stronger.

Further, when you have ADHD and repeatedly receive the “weakness” message that your work and your efforts are not “good enough” in certain areas, those bad feelings tend to spill over.  You begin to generalize your negative perception of your performance in certain areas to other areas as well.

So if you have ADHD and want to maximize both your energy and your focus, then it’s essential that you 1) identify both your strengths, your consistent patterns of successful completion that give you increased energy and satisfaction and 2) your passions, those experiences, events, tasks, projects that ignite your heart and provide a strong sense of fulfillment and 3) prioritize and integrate more of both into your life

Why?  Because identifying the areas that are of high interest to you are where you will consistently do well. They are also the key to your ability to successfully pay attention. And the greater your ability to pay attention, the greater your chances of creating a foundation of success that you can then replicate in other areas of your life. Your strengths are already hardwired in your brain and are available to you whenever you choose to use them. The more you use them the stronger they get.

To determine your strengths and your passions, first identify the tasks, goals, and/or activities that you consistently enjoy doing and are usually able to complete.  Remember that ADHD is a challenge of boredom and disinterest. The more that either of these elements is part of a task or goal, the less likely you are to complete it.

Once you’ve identified the things you both do well and enjoy doing, ask yourself:

1.What is it about this topic, goal, or task that’s interesting to me?
2.When I’m focusing on this subject, what are the things I consistently do – the steps I always take – that enable me to complete the task or project?

After answering these questions, jot down a simple bulleted list of the steps. Then take your list and create a reminder for yourself by making a colorful visual map; or make an audio recording of yourself naming the steps. Identify other areas of your life where these steps could be helpful.

When you know what it is that enables you to succeed in one area, you can then follow those “steps to success” in areas of challenge as well.  By identifying your strengths and your passions, you’ll uncover the clues to a system for organizing your life.  This system will facilitate both sustained focus and consistent action – the keys to success for people with ADHD.

David Giwerc, MCC, David is the Founder/President of the ADD Coach Academy, http://www.addca.com the world’s largest and leading comprehensive ADHD coach training program, designed to teach the skills necessary to powerfully coach individuals with ADHD. The ADD Coach Academy is an ACTP (Accredited Coach Training) program fully accredited by the ICF, International coach Federation, the governing body for the coaching profession He is a Master Certified Coach, MCC, with the ICF, their highest ranking designation and sits on the Professional Advisory Board of PAAC, Professional Association of ADHD Coaches, http://www.paaccoaches.org/pab.html

David is also the past President (2003-2006) of ADDA, http://www.ADD.org, (Attention Deficit Disorder Association), the world’s leading adult ADHD organization. As ADDA’s president, he was instrumental in making National ADHD awareness day an annual reality. The resolution, (identified as resolution 390) was unanimously approved in the U.S. Senate on July 6, 2004. Since its inception, it has been held annually during the month of September. David was also a key committee co-chair involved in the development of ADDA’s current “Guiding Principles for Coaching Individuals with AD/HD” and authored/ directed ADDA’s 2002-2006 strategic plans.
David has been featured in numerous publications, radio and television programs and as a speaker at various conferences with ADDA (Attention Deficit Disorder Association), CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder) and the ICF, the International Coach Federation. He is also the author of his new book: Permission to Proceed: Creating a Life of Passion, Purpose and Possibility for Adults with ADHD. http://addca.com/permission-to-proceed.html

References

1:Rath, T. and Clifton, D. “How Full Is Your Bucket? ” New York: Gallup Press, p.48. 2004

2:Buckingham, M. and Clifton D. O. “Now Discover Your Strengths.” New York, The Free Press. p.6. 2001
3.Buckingham, M. and Clifton D. O. “Now Discover Your Strengths.” New York, The Free Press. p.7. 2001

Copyright, ADDCA, 2011

If you give yourself permission to proceed with imagining a better life you will create a picture of possibility you can begin to pursue whenever you choose to do so.
To learn more about the book, Permission to Proceed:Creating a Life of Passion, Purpose and Possibility for Adults with ADHD, by David Giwerc
please go to: http://addca.com/permission-to-proceed.html

“David Giwerc, is a true master practioner who’s been working in the trenches for decades, gives us the precious gift in this book of his hard-earned experience, wisdom, and knowledge.  This is the best kind of book: practical, honest, written from life, and filled with truth as well as grace,” says Edward Hallowell, M.D., psychiatrist, nationally recognized ADHD expert, and best-selling author of CrazyBusy and co-author of Driven to Distraction.
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“Reading this book is like having a master teacher right in the palm of your hand,” says Sari Solden, MS, LMFT, author of Women with Attention Deficit Disorder and Journeys through ADDulthood. “Adults with ADHD will be inspired to dream once again as David expertly guides them toward creating the meaningful and fulfilling lives they deeply desire.”
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Permission to Proceed: The Keys to Creating a Life of Passion, Purpose and Possibility for Adults with ADHD is available for sale online - Read More
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About the Author
David Giwerc, M.C.C., is Founder and President of the ADD Coach Academy, the world’s foremost ADHD coach training program. The ADD Coach Academy is the only comprehensive ADHD coach training program fully accredited with the ACTP designation granted by the International Coach Federation (ICF), the governing body for the coaching profession.

David is a Master Certified Coach, also accredited by the ICF. He serves as an advisor to the Professional Association of ADHD Coaches (PAAC), and he is a past president (2003-2006) of the Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA), the world’s leading organization supporting adults with ADHD.

During his tenure at ADDA, David played a role in creating National ADHD Awareness Day, now celebrated annually in September. David has been featured in numerous publications, radio and television programs and is a recognized spokesman for ADHD and ADHD coach training on the national stage.

Media Contact
David Giwerc
dgiwerc@addca.com
(518) 482-3458

ADD Coach Academy
1971 Western Avenue Suite 106
Albany, NY 12203-5066